I’m sorry I left the way I did last night.

It was immature and insensitive.

I should have been aware of your needs,

Instead of thinking of my own selfish thoughts.

I’m sorry I broke your expensive DVD player.

I should have controlled my animal instincts.

Instead of acting like a mature adult

I behaved like a wild animal released from torture.

I’m sorry I kicked your dog as I went out the door.

I should have moved over to the other side.

There was no need to hurt the poor creature.

I hope his tail heals soon.

I’m sorry I put sugar in your car engine.

It caused a lot of damage to it.

I shouldn’t have stolen your hub cabs either.

It must have made driving very difficult.

I’m sorry I disconnected your phone.

It left you isolated from the rest of the world.

I shouldn’t have taken your mobile either.

I imagine it was expensive to replace.

I’m sorry I told all your friends your secrets.

I should have respected your confidence in me.

I probably shouldn’t have posted them up on the internet.

I hope the harassing e-mails have stopped.

I’m sorry I sold your summer house on e-bay.

I know it cost you a lot more than 99 cent.

I hope the new owners are nice enough

To let you rent it during the holidays.

I’m sorry I stole your credit cards and maxed them out.

I realise I left you in a lot of debt.

I hope your second, third and fourth jobs at McDondalds

Help you buy back your liver.

I’m sorry I broke your ribs and arms

I shouldn’t have beaten you up with that crowbar.

I, at least, shouldn’t have insisted on kicking you

When you were groaning on the ground.

I’m sorry you are currently residing in hospital

With no one allowed to visit you.

But while you’re alone, you can think about what will happen

If you ever call me vindictive again!